Rainbow at the end of the day...

I am a nurse and I see all sorts of things, today was one of those days where I got to experience it all. I experienced my first code, unfortunately things did not turn out and my condolences goes out to the family. It's funny how in school they talk about your sympathetic nervous system, the whole fight or flight instinct. Well it is true, your body is exhausted after the fight is over, I mean I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for days.
Let me tell you about two couples that live in the long term facility upstairs at where I work. There is the couple where the wife is wheelchair bound and I guess you can say a real "bitch". Her husband is there to be at her every beck and call, but still she complains, and patiently he takes it. Does he stay because he feels sorry for her? I understand for sickness and in health, but when push comes to shove, does someone really need that kind of abuse?
The last couple I know is my rainbow at the end of the day. I do not know their whole story or why she is there, but I do know they are the sweetest people ever. They are a young couple, probably mid forties, adult children, and pretty religious. She is pretty much bed bound, always polite and thanks the staff constantly. When her husband comes to see her, he's got the biggest smile on his face! The affection and love these two have for each other always makes me want to cry because it is so emotional. I wonder if they were always this affectionate and cordial to each other or did the incident of her being there bring them closer. I think as a married couple you forget to listen to each other and just go on your daily routine. There are days where I sit and tell my spouse what happened and he just stares off into space. Have we become the nagging couple? Have we stopped appreciating each other? It's hard to work at your rainbow when the sun does not come out after the rain.

Korean new fad diet craze (해독주스)

My mother in law comes over with this disgusting vegetable drink because it is supposed to cleanse my body and help me lose weight. Mind you I had a baby literately 2 months ago and I am breastfeeding. I find it funny because like most of her Korean friends, everything they do is a fad or trend. When one person decides or hears of an idea, the rest of the lemmings follow. This diet consists of cabbage, broccolis, carrots, apples, bananas, and tomatoes (sounds gross already). Once boiled you are to blend all these ingredients and drink them prior to eating, promising your stomach to be full faster, hence eating less. I am sorry I'm sure this craze diet works well with some, but I AM BREASTFEEDING! I am not going to drink something that will cause gas no only to me, but to my little one. Then she tries to convince me that it will detoxify my body, well first of all what is detox? and secondly it's full of fiber so of course you are going to have an increase in bowel. Then it got me thinking, is she so embarrassed of the way I look she looks into these outrageous diets. With all the negativity and her oh so passive aggressive ways, I am surprised I never picked up an eating disorder or tried to commit suicide. I am sure she does these things with all good intentions, but because of her immigrant ways it just comes out bad to the American girl in me.

The Angry Parent.

After reading a blog of an angry teenager, I started to think back when I was once that age. I grew up in a household where my mother was an over bearing control freak. I understood being grounded during my high school years, but when it went into my twenties, she made my life hell. I grew up going to church not out of my own free will, but to accompany her and look like good children in front of her fake friends. I remember being in my twenties and having to be home by 11pm or having her call my friend’s parents because I was no where to be found. After getting married and moving way out of town the only feeling I have toward her is pure resentment. She gets upset that I do not call her on holidays or her birthday, but I have no desire to maintain a relationship with her. I know my mother is mentally not stable, but she is extremely toxic and that is something I do not need in my life.  I see parents all the time just screaming at their children, but never listening to their side of the story. Even if my child has done wrong, they still deserve the right to a fair mommy trial. I don’t ever want to become like my mother. When I pass one day I want my children to cry because they loved me and will miss me, not be sad because they were never able to have the relationship they wish they would liked to have had. 

The Vacation

Why is it every time our family plans a trip (mostly me) it becomes exhausting. The packing is the biggest obstacle of them all! Having a ton of kids and a clueless spouse because extremely irritating. If I left it up to my husband the kids would have nothing to wear and everyone would starve. I've come to realize to book flights in the afternoon because my spouse seems to be hard of hearing the days before when I need to pack, hence leaving me to pack into the wee hours into dawn. I have learned if you forgot to pack something know that deep inside it is your husband's fault for only packing his own gear and leaving the rest up to me.

That one song...

It's funny how music can trigger a memory from the past; call it nostalgia or whatever you want, but some how it can move you. Recently I came across a box of old CD's and started to listen to some of them. I remember the good times with friends, high school, first night club experiences, and Vegas road trips. I also remember the bad times, the groundings, first heart break, friendships falling apart, and a death. I will never forget the boy that took me to prom or the first guy that really broke my heart. I will never recover from a tragic death of my friend that happened two years into my marriage. I will always regret not fixing our friendship the way it used to be, but some how I know she is okay with me. I also wonder what happened to the people that came in and out of my life, would we have been great friends or was it just for fun? Looking back on how things were I would have like to changed many things, but I also know my present would not be the way it is today.
Even though my life is not an adventure, I will always have my one true constant and that is my husband...

Birthday or not to Birthday...

Turning 27 again is not as exciting as it was the first time. I had the most amazing dinner with my wonderful friends, at a little hole in the wall tapas bar. This one really tickled my pallet, it had avocado (obviously) fish and brandy mayo. This place is located in the heart of Jefferson Park on the corner of Bryn Mawr and Milwaukee. I love that it is BYOB and the owners do not clip you a corking fee. The down side is I do not drink wine due to the fact I'm either allergic to the tannins or sulfite in wine. As unsophisticated it may be I will just stick to my cocktails in the mean time. Even though my night was cut short due to a friend having little more wine than she can handle, I would not changed it for the world. I love my friends and the company alone out weighs my younger years bar hopping.

Is this thing on?

"Honey, don't forget to tell your mother, the kids and I will not be going there for lunch, because I am sick". Two hours later "ring ring"  caller id says mom. I take it he forgot to tell her. Maybe because he was born a man, he lacks common sense and has the delayed to do list gene, who knows. Please make my life easier as your wife and listen to what I say. It's not a difficult task, but you choose to make it that way. When your wife tells you to take out the trash, it pretty much means that very moment, not ten minutes from now or an hour, but now! A lot of times my husband has the tendency to forget what he is assigned to do, but low and behold his friend asks for a favor, he's there in a flash. Please explain that one to me? I am not the evil, bitching, nag he makes me out to be, the problem is, he need to open his ears! I know there are many wives out there feeling the same exact thing, is there a solution? no, it's inevitable.